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Thursday, June 09, 2005

Let's Talk About Love - TomKat Style

Oprah calls Tom...

Oprah: Tom, darling, can you and Katie donate 2 million to my charity, There's A Child In Africa Who Wants To Be A Movie Star?

Tom (down on one knee, phone to ear, pounding the floor in earnest): Oprah, you know I love you, and I really want to do it. I really want to do it. I really, really want to do it.

Oprah: Great, TACWWTBAMS (she says the acronym as a word) really needs your help. I know Katie would do it if her Dawson's Creek residual payments for the 8 episodes a day run on the WB were high enough, but we all know she makes an average of 2 cents per week on that body of work that made you fall in love with her.

Tom (sick, jerking laugh): haha haha haha. Oh Oprah, you know I never watched that show, I just loved the way she smelled. It reminds me of my Grandma. And my mom. And my sister who made me sit on the bathroom counter and kiss her girlfriends. Have you ever heard that story?

Oprah (growing bored): Yes Tom I've heard it. Anyway, Stedman was wondering if you had time for a quick rendezvous tonight...Gayle and I have plans.


end scene.

Wait, what?

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